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Times are Changing!

 
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Times are Changing!
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ADL80L
Sergeant


Joined: 23 Jan 2008
Posts: 33

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Mesh Half-Shirt Replaces "Wife-Beater" As Official Undergarment of Domestic Violence
By Brian Farrelly and Jay Barba
HOBOKEN--The American Spousal Abuse Society (A.S.A.S.) reversed over 30 years of tradition today, by naming the mesh half-shirt as the "Official Wife-Beater Shirt" of the next century. This news came as a shock to both Hanes Inc. and Fruit of the Loom Industries, whose white, sleeveless cotton T-shirt has held down the honorary position since 1968.
"Quite honestly, weíre shocked," said Jim T. Miller, President of Hanes Inc., in a phone interview today. "We thought our white sleeveless tees well represented the white trash/spousal abuse demographic." This decision ends a legendary 30-year association with the "wife-beater" shirt, typified by its cut off sleeves, plunging neckline and easily shrinkable fabric that accentuates the wearerís tiny muscles. It officially became known as the "wife-beater" in 1968 when Ike Turner was signed on as a celebrity spokesperson for the line.

The white sleeveless T-shirt's connection to domestic violence was further solidified thanks to the television show Cops, which featured mayonnaise sandwich-eating, crystal meth-smoking white trash being arrested and led away in cuffs, clad only in their underwear, mullet hairdos and ubiquitous "wife-beater" T-shirts.

It is expected that Hanes and Fruit of the Loom will now nickname the white sleeveless T-shirt "the Goomba," in honor of the turn-of-the-century Italian Americans who first popularized the top as not only underwear, but outerwear as well.

A.S.A.S. spokesman Randy "Bubba" Wentworth apologized to Hanes and Fruit of the Loom, but declared that "they had it coming." Mr. Wentworth felt that the white sleeveless had lost touch with the wife-beating masses. "I mean, I turn on the damn T.V., and thereís them Backstreet Boys or In Sync or whatever you call 'em, thems wearing wife-beaters! Iím vacationing in New York City, down in the West Village--now Iím with my family mind you--and thereís all these damn queers running around, theyíre wearing wife-beaters too! And they donít even have no wives!! Iím sorry, but these types of people just give spousal abuse a bad name."




Tue Jan 29, 2008 11:45 am View user's profile Send private message
Cabot500
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Joined: 22 Jan 2008
Posts: 211

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Hahahaha classic.
Tue Jan 29, 2008 11:52 am View user's profile Send private message
Aceswild001
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Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Posts: 222
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico

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LOL

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Tue Jan 29, 2008 1:08 pm View user's profile Send private message
scubasam21
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Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 265
Location: Palmyra, IN

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Damn, this totally sucks.

Now I gotta buy the mesh shirt to apply the beatings now.

Per my wife says this is unacceptable........
Tue Jan 29, 2008 2:45 pm View user's profile Send private message Yahoo Messenger
ADL80L
Sergeant


Joined: 23 Jan 2008
Posts: 33

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I voted to switch to grey sleeveless shirts at the A.S.A.S. meeting, so the news comes as a crushing blow to me. However I am proud to announce that the proper protocol if another man utters fighting words like " I prefer Van Hagar over Van Halen" is still to rip off whatever shirt you are wearing and toss it at the floor.
Tue Jan 29, 2008 3:00 pm View user's profile Send private message
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